This week our weekly horoscope has the theme of adulting fails. You know, those moments that make you wonder if you're ready to be an adult. The moments that have you wondering if you're a 12 year old stuck in a grown up's body. The moments you're not so proud of, but hopefully can laugh at later. There ya go, you know what I mean now. So, without further Ado, here you go, friends:
- Aries (3/21-4/19): ♈️ Forget your anniversary... yet again, despite all the reminders and sticky notes you left for yourself. Honestly, it’s impressive how this keeps happening. (Fail score: 8/10)
- Taurus (4/20-5/20): ♉️
The fridge is still empty, even though you've written countless grocery lists and even stuck them on the fridge door. Somehow, the act of shopping always seems to slip your mind. (Fail score: 9/10)
- Gemini (5/21-6/20): ♊️
Accidentally confuse your partner's name with your ex's—awkward doesn’t even begin to describe it! Prepare for a long and uncomfortable silence. (Fail score: 10/10)
- Cancer (6/21-7/22) ♋️
Let your laundry pile up until it’s as tall as Mount Everest, or at least close enough to make you feel overwhelmed. Procrastination has never looked so daunting. (Fail score: 8/10)
- Leo (7/23-8/22): ♌️
Burn dinner completely while you’re desperately trying to impress your date with your nonexistent culinary skills. The smoke alarm becomes your evening’s soundtrack. (Fail score: 9/10)
- Virgo (8/23-9/22) ♍️
Organize your closet so meticulously that it’s a masterpiece, only to forget what’s in it or where anything is a week later. A cruel twist of fate indeed. (Fail score: 8/10)
- Libra (9/23-10/22) ♎️ Balance your checkbook meticulously, reviewing every little transaction, and yet somehow still end up bouncing those checks, leaving you scratching your head in frustration. (Fail score: 9/10)
- Scorpio (10/23-11/21) ♏️
Hide junk food in secret spots all over your house, only to eventually dig it all out and devour every bite of it in one single sitting anyway, because self-control was never truly an option. (Fail score: 10/10)
- Sagittarius (11/22-12/21) ♐️ Get completely and hopelessly lost on the way to the grocery store, even while holding a GPS in your hand, proving that even technology can’t save you from your own sense of adventure. (Fail score: 8/10)
- Capricorn (12/22-1/19) ♑️
Forget to pay bills on time, promising yourself you’ll stay on top of it next time, then sob over the growing mountain of late fees that just keeps accumulating. (Fail score: 9/10)
- Aquarius (1/20-2/19) ♒️
Completely forget to pay your bills again and again, only to eventually break down into tears when the weight of all the accumulated late fees becomes too much to handle. (Fail score: 9/10)
- Pisces (2/20-3/20) ♓️
Dream endlessly of adulting perfection with boundless optimism and hope, only to wake up to the glaring reality of chaos, messy spaces, and unfinished tasks. (Fail score: 10/10)
Hopefully your adulting fail moment won't be that bad, and hopefully you don't blame me for it. I'm just the messenger! What do you think I made them up?1 *These are for entertainment purposes only, however.*
Let us know which of you had horoscopes that come true, and be careful as you're out living life. Try to think to yourself, "what would a real adult do." Maybe that'll get you through the week.
Anyway, as always, thanks for stopping by! Until next time...
Mama Gnome, A.K.A. Eliza
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