The ultimate guide to translating Facebook relationship status updates
You think they're straightforward, but trust me...
Here are the actual Facebook options with my "honest" translations:
1. Single = Ready for swipe-right disasters 🙃
2. In a relationship = Still on probation 😳
3. Engaged = Finally convinced someone to tolerate me forever 😍
4. Married = Love has turned into chores 🙄
5. Civil Union = Basically married, but with better tax benefits 😛
6. Domestic Partnership = Married-ish 😬
7. Open Relationship = My partner is cooler than yours 😏
8. It's complicated = Still talking to my ex 😈
9. Separated = Currently blaming each other for everything 😖
10. Divorced = FREE AGAIN 🥳
11. Widowed = My heart is broken (seriously, no jokes here) 😭
There you have it – Facebook relationship statuses decoded, and our relationships slightly roasted. Definitely worth updating your status to "entertained" after reading this. Tell me in the survey form, is your relationship status public, or no? Why or why not?
Edited for plug in - there are lots of y'all reading these blogs, and for that, I thank you! Take another 5 minutes and check out my little online shop. Just click the merchandise tab on your way out the door, no big deal 😌 She's my baby and doesn't get enough love. I think you'll like what you see, and if not...tell me what you want! I not only take suggestions but also special orders! Thanks in advance, friends.
Until next time...
Mama Gnome, A.K.A. Eliza
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