Caution: mom brain activated - expect rambling, coffee cravings, and kid stories about mom life - where love meets chaos. I'm the chaos coordinator.
Readers, I asked you to share your chaos questions, and I've got answers! Let's read some of my favorites...but let's first talk about, not the wins, but the parenting fails.
Yessssss, before we dive into the hilarious mishaps, let’s touch on something all moms can relate to: the art of survival mode. You know, those days when the laundry pile looks like Mount Everest, the coffee is lukewarm for the third time, and you somehow managed to pack your kid's lunch with yesterday’s leftovers...and a crayon. Survival mode is where resourcefulness and humor meet – because let’s face it, if you’re not laughing, you’re crying (probably into that cold cup of coffee). Embrace it – it’s part of the beautifully messy mom journey! Plus, we'd all be a bit better off if we learn to laugh at ourselves. Ready to laugh?!
Q: What's your secret to getting kids to eat veggies?
A: Ha. You think I have secrets. I bribe them with iPad time.
Q: How do you balance work and parenting?
A: Balance is a myth created by childless people. I just survive on coffee.
Q: What's the most romantic thing your kid has done for you?
A: Drawn on my favorite shirt... with permanent marker... while I was wearing it.
Q: How many hours of sleep do you average per night?
A: Enough to function as a zombie. Around 4 hours, give or take. But that's not actually the kids' fault.
Q: What's your favorite parenting hack?
A: Hiding in the pantry eating chocolate while telling them I'm 'getting a snack for them'.
Q: Do you ever get time to yourself?
A: Only in the bathroom. And even then, they knock.
Q: What's the best parenting advice you've received?
A: Wine helps.' – my mom, wise woman.
Q: How do you handle tantrums in public?
A: I pretend to be on my phone while slowly backing away towards the exit.
Q: What's your kid's favorite food?
A: Goldfish crackers. And only the orange ones. Don't ask.
Q: Do you feel like a good parent most days?
A: No. But I'm pretty sure I'm not the worst... until bedtime.
Q: How do you get your husband to help with diapers?
A: Bribery, guilt trips, and threatening to make him sleep in the kid's room if he doesn't.
Q: What's the craziest thing your kid has said in public?
A: Mommy, you're fat!' in the middle of Target...
Q: Do you ever worry you're screwing them up permanently?
A: Daily. Hourly. Every time they repeat something I said...
Q: How do you maintain a social life with tiny dictators at home?
A: I don't. My social life consists of playground chats and Starbucks runs.
Q: What's the most creative excuse your kid has given for not listening?**
A: "I was just resting my ears..." – yeah, that didn't fly with me either.
Thanks for stopping by today. When you're done reading, please don't forget to hop over to the merchandise tab and check out my shop's new look. You may just love it - and I think you will! If you don't see something you like, I take special orders and requests...with no increase in price! I love to make customer requests, so just let me know! Also, in case you didn't know, if you sign up for newsletters you'll be entered into our next raffle! Have fun and good luck! Most importantly, thanks, friend! Until next time...
Mama Gnome, A.K.A. Eliza
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