Hey, Y'all, happy day to you! nice to see you virtually! so let's talk relationships. you can't live with them, you can't live without them, am I right? i'm talking things that could each in itself be a blog post. like...
- weird habits
- Crazy ex stories
- funny dating disasters
- relationship red flags
- relationship no no's
seriously--I think almost everyone has some out of this world funny/crazy/scary stories about their relationship or maybe a past toxic one. I know I sure do! my exes have more! as you scroll, don't forget to submit your unforgettable story in the survey form below.
Tell us your biggest dating fail
a while back, I asked readers to send in their relationship questions. no matter what they are, I told you to ask me anything! our questions came flooding in. some were funny, some were serious, but all of them were great to read. I love to get to know y'all a little better. if you didn't get a chance, send me yours! maybe we'll do a whole second post, who knows. out of the humongous stack of questions I received, I picked out the ones that made me chuckle, and here they are! let's talk relationships...
Q: My partner leaves the cap off the toothpaste. Is this a deal breaker?
A: Only if you value sanity and clean sinks. but, as women (I'm assuming you're a woman) we must learn to choose our battles. good luck, sister!
Q: I've been dating someone for 3 weeks and they've already given me a nickname for our future kids. Red flag?
A: More like a gigantic, waving, neon flag. run. run far away, and fast!
Q: My ex still thinks we're together because I haven't blocked their number yet. Am I lazy or hopeful?
A: Definitely lazy – hopeful would've blocked them by now. but seriously, it's up to you. whatever makes you happy. you might be the type that wants to know what's coming through so you feel in control if you don't respond. or you might be the type that has little self control, and so you need to block them. you do what's best for you.
Q: Is it weird that my partner sings to our Alexa like she's a person?
A: Weird is when they start arguing with Alexa – then it's a relationship issue. get it?! See what I did there?! hey, I amuse myself at least.
Q: What's the protocol for telling my partner their snoring sounds like a chainsaw?
A: Approach with earplugs and a white lie: 'You sound adorable when you sleep.' it's okay to lie to parents, teachers, and to save someone's feelings. lol. but seriously, good luck.
Q: Can I break up with someone over their music taste (they obsess over boy bands)?
A: Only if you want to spare yourself a lifetime of Backstreet Boys concerts. I don't know you, but I think you do. tell them 'bye, bye bye!'
Q: My partner 'forgets' to tell me about their nights out with friends. Trust issue?
A: Forgetfulness is code for 'didn't want you to know.' unless they forgot. which is possible, I suppose. I don't even remember what I was saying. but I have an excuse. so you decide, based upon how it makes you feel, and their response to that.
Q: Can our relationship survive if my partner puts anchovies on our pizza?
A: Survive yes, dinner dates unlikely – anchovy love is a strong red flag. imagine a date night kiss after that...
Q: Is 3 dates too soon to leave a toothbrush at their place?
A: Only 3 dates too soon – by date 4, claim the whole bathroom.
Q: My ex is still using our old couple Instagram handle. Harassment or clinginess?
A: Both. Block and report – then go dancing. it'll make you feel better, I promise.
Q: Can our relationship survive if my partner thinks I'm perfect?
A: yessss this is my favorite! I think, in order for a relationship to be worth it, you must think that your partner is perfect. it's a feeling you can't describe, until you feel it. after that, anything less is just insulting.
I want to finish up by introducing some of our featured readers from today's blog post, shown below. in order, these ladies submitted the questions about the toothpaste, the snoring, and the Instagram handle. What did y'all think about those ones? put your comments below!
"the problem i've been having with his snoring has affected me in more ways than I can say. I am now sleep deprived! honestly, mama gnome's blog posts and social posts with videos have kept me with something to look forward to!."
maria santiago
"I love reading mama gnome's blog and can't wait to see my relationship questions featured and answered by her. it's not even about her being the best at relationships or anything, maybe she's not, I don't know. it's about being heard."
Janelle corothers
"I have written in to so many articles asking for advice, like it's not that difficult a question. I just want to bounce it off someone else, but nobody has answered me. I heard mama gnome will answer all questions, even if she has to do extra posts."
jenny cornerstone
Thanks for stopping by, y'all. I hope you enjoyed reading. have a great rest of your day. until next time...
mama gnome, a.k.a. eliza
Edited for plug in - there are lots of y'all reading these blogs, and for that, I thank you! Take another 5 minutes and check out my little online shop. Just click the merchandise tab on your way out the door, no big deal 😌 She's my baby and doesn't get enough love. I think you'll like what you see, and if not...tell me what you want! I not only take suggestions but also special orders! Thanks in advance, friends.
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