Stages of Arguments Between Couples: A Funny, Yet Truthful Timeline

Warning: this post may trigger memories of slammed doors, silent treatments, and awkward morning-after conversations.

Relationship arguments – the ultimate test of love, patience, and who-can-be-more-right (that's not actually what's important, but it can sure as hell feel that way, am I right?). From passionate debates to full-blown wars, we've mapped out the hilarious (and painfully familiar) stages of relationship arguments. 

Read on (if you dare to relive the drama. But, hey, maybe you'll learn a thing or two on how to avoid some of the steps, if you acknowledge what they are)...

Here are the stages:

1. The Calm Before the Storm: Both parties still using inside voices. There are butterflies and rainbows in the horizon.

2. Selective Hearing Activated: One person conveniently forgets entire conversations. Maybe it's you, maybe it's them - either way, the other starts to wonder if this is on purpose. 

3. Volume Increase: Voices raised, neighbors alerted. One of you might be running around to shut all the windows. Faces are red by now.

4. Door Slamming Optional (But Likely, and if you ask me, necessary): Dramatic exits put to practice. People can say what they want, but nobody wants to be the one walked out on, so generally it's first come first serve on the door slamming exit.

5. Low Blows: Personal jokes and past mistakes dragged in. This might actually happen before step 3 in some instances. Individual results may vary.

6. The Silent Treatment: Both parties perfecting their ice queen/king faces. It's like a staring contest. Nobody wants to blink (talk/apologize) first.

7. Guilty Party Searches for Snacks: Hunger realizes the fight isn't worth missing dinner. Or it was, hence the late night snack. I sometimes avoid this walk of shame by grabbing a snack earlier, between steps 3 and 4.

8. Makeup [Talks] (Literally or Figuratively): Peace treaties negotiated, kisses possibly involved, maybe more - depends on the couple. Now is a good time to eat. Hopefully cooking happened before the fight ensued and there are leftovers. Everyone is starving and drained.

Now, this is not my way of condoning name calling (you should actually avoid it), but if you need, for your back pocket - check out some ideas from the comeback generator below. Have fun!